Page Six
"For
as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways
higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:9
The temple in heaven opens still further and in great depth
and detail as we are privileged to share in the vision of
Christianna. This is the offering of the 9th day of
October, the third day of the Feast of Tabernacles. Tonight
at midnight the moon encompasses the seven lights. The
church itself takes hold of the vision of the consummation.
Christianna is a representative of this very event. She
became a Witness who was "taken" along side as Messiah
appeared to her. She was not "left" desolate.
Truly the Scriptures will be fulfilled: "And in that day
will I make Jerusalem [Travesser] a burdensome stone for
all people: all that burden themselves with it [because of
their earth view] shall be cut in pieces, though all the
people of the earth be gathered together against it." Zech.
12:3.
In April of this year, several months before the events of
the Consummation of Judgment began to unfold, Father gave
me the Scripture and personal instruction, "Sing a new song
unto the Lord." I felt past ready to sing a "new song," for
my old song had gotten very old for me. I was in a very
hard place when Father gave me these instructions, and if I
could have put my feelings into words, they would have run
along these lines: "I'm going to pretend like my
relationship with God is how I desire it. I'm going to
'faith it.' If I could have it any way I wanted, how would
I have it?" That was where I was coming from as I wrote the
following song words. But that is not where Father was
coming from. Where Father was was coming from, was that He
was putting words into me that He Himself was going to
bring about. He was putting the words of this "new song" in
me that I was going to sing to Him, in Spirit and in truth.
Over the ensuing months, He was going to be taking me
through the necessary process so I could be freed to sing
this "new song" with my whole life. During the intensity
and extended duration of the process of Father putting
these words into my experience, I forgot all about them.
But during the Feast of Tabernacles, as I was writing out
what Father has done for me in the last few months, I came
across them again, and I am in awe as I read them, for I am
seeing how Father caused His Words to become flesh, in me:
Your Bride Is Waiting For You
Husband, My only Love,
I have eyes only for You.
Day and Night my heart yearns to be with You,
to hold You and to kiss Your sweet face.
In Your Presence all is well,
I am safe and I know You love me.
I'm waiting for you, sweet Friend.
Come, come for me.
Take me to Your chamber.
Your Bride is waiting for you.
How can we enjoy our time together
when a part of us is in aching pain.
Love would in its mercy
take the pain away.
Take me all the way.
Your Bride is waiting for You.
I'm wide open,
looking, listening for Your every move.
You have all of my attention,
all of my heart longs for You.
It hurts inside because I want you so
bad.
The words of this "new song" were the exact opposite of
what I had been experiencing:
"...How can we enjoy our time together
when a part of us is in aching pain..."
I was very much into my own life when we first came to this
land, and for the past six years Father had been patiently
and faithfully opening my eyes to see my huge need of Him.
Now, during this most recent time He had finally been able
to bring me to my crisis of need. For the past six months I
had been crying almost every day, crying over the totally
desperate and destitute condition of my soul. I knew I was
not one with God, really. I knew that, because I was
possessed by a very strong and crushing spirit of offense,
and no matter what I did, I was not able to make it go
away. I felt wronged, and day and night I could not find
resolution. I knew in my mind that I was the one who was
wrong, because I was the one feeling offended, and yet
knowing that intellectually didn’t seem to change anything.
During late June, my offense was crushing me, and this was
when everything started breaking open for me. This was the
beginning of the war. I wrote the following prayer in my
journal. In this prayer that Father put in me, I was
beginning the war. I was going to die, or I was going to be
healed.
Dear Ishi-el (Husband-God),
Break me open, I can't do it without You. I don't even know
where to begin. Bring to light the things unseen. Make
visible what's invisible. Break me through this wall of
denial (lies). Break me free from this beast (me). Open my
eyes Lord to see the reality of denial in my heart. Break
me open. The wounds of the past just keep festering and I
am never able to heal. I need a lightning strike. I am wide
open for this to occur and to see it through until the end.
Teacher, please come, I'm ready, live or die I must forge
ahead. I'm committed to this war. Please operate on me. Do
whatever You must do. Spirit of Forgiveness come to me,
come in me, BE ME. Humble me, so I can do thy will. I hold
nothing back.
I also wrote, "Father, I accept Your cup of humiliation
(your cup of salvation) drinking the cup means accepting
the blows. Bring me to vulnerability."
"...It hurts inside because I want You so bad..."
On
the morning of July 30, my husband of 13 years strongly
encouraged me to go see Michael. Jeff was at a total loss
to know what to do to help me, as we had discussed this
issue many times before over the past four years. His
suggestion to visit Michael brought up another
impossibility deep within me. It brought up a deep wound I
had carried in my heart for a very long time. This deep
wound was that I was closed with Michael. For 15 years I
hadn't been able to get through the blocks that I had felt.
They were too much for me. I recognized this deep wound was
there whenever someone would be sharing heart to heart with
me and they would touch that deep place in me. It would
make me cry. I was so blocked with Michael, it felt like it
was this wound that would never be healed. I hadn’t been to
see Michael in years about anything personal. My walls of
hurt and self-protection with Him were so high I had no
hope of ever being able to get through them to connect with
Him. It had also been by Michael’s own hand that the gaping
wound of my spirit of offense had been "ripped open" so to
speak, when He faithfully exposed me to myself so I could
be healed.
After Jeff left, I decided that I was going to go see
Michael and I was going to be as absolutely and brutally
honest as I could be. I decided that I was not going to
hold anything back, but just let every wretched detail out.
I wasn't going to try to make anything look pretty. I
realized that I might be moving off the property that very
day, as Michael could very well tell me that I just needed
to go. I decided that that would be okay, but I was going
to get as naked as I could about what I was experiencing
inside, and I would just take the hit, whatever it was. I
felt I could not live like this anymore; I was going to die
or I was going to get resolved.
I went to Michael and poured everything all out. Not only
did I describe to Him my offense with the one I felt had
wronged me, but I shared with Him things that He had done
over the years that had made me feel hurt. I knew
intellectually that it was all untrue, but it really was
how I saw things (my personal earth view), and I just
wanted to bare my soul about it all. After a couple of
hours of naked honesty, Michael laid me on the floor and
put His hand on my heart and told me I was healed.
Something had changed inside of me during our visit
together, and I was able to take Michael at His word. I
really did believe Him, although I didn’t necessarily feel
healed. I went home and my prayer became, “Father, when you
told Sarah she was going to have a baby, she wasn’t holding
Isaac that next day. Please water and put some Son on this
Seed, CAUSE IT TO GROW. I count You faithful and I believe
You”. This Seed had to bear fruit, that’s all there was to
it. This became my heart cry over the next few weeks.
"...In Your Presence all is well,
I am safe and I know You love me..."
On
August 10, Eddie from British Broadcasting Company came and
interviewed Jeff and me. During that interview, Eddie asked
Jeff and me about being married and what that looked
like.
Jeff told him in no uncertain terms that we were not
married. This was a surprise to me, because in my heart I
was married to Jeff. Of course, in my mind, God was first,
but I very much had a wife’s heart toward Jeff. Later, when
Jeff and I were alone I asked him about what he had said,
and he again very emphatically told me that he was married
to the Lamb only, and so was I.
This little experience was very perplexing to me and a
sting to my heart. It seemed like a make-believe story to
fit a doctrine we had. I wondered how I was supposed to not
be married in reality, while going through the motions of
marriage and having the emotional experience of being
married, and actually being married. How was one to not be
married while still being physically married? This was a
great mystery to my mind. Heavenly Father had told me when
Jeff and I first got married that I was to never leave him,
no matter what. Many times I had asked Father about being
physically married to Jeff in light of the clear words of
Michael that earthly marriages were no more, but I had
never received any personal instructions to my heart to
separate, so I never did. I felt that since I had received
such a strong, personal instruction to not leave, that
Father would need to give me just as strong of a personal
instruction to leave. All I knew at the moment was that I
was married, heart, mind and soul. I really didn’t know
what to do with this except just bear the ache of
contradiction that I was feeling in my heart.
The next afternoon, while at Jeff’s, he told me that
Michael had told him that one of the little virgins was
beginning to know that she was loved. Immediately I excused
myself because I could feel the depths of my soul breaking
up, and I knew that soon a fountain of salt water was going
to be breaking forth out of me. I had NEVER KNOWN that God
loved me.
I quickly made my way to the altar hill, crying as I went.
I knew in the deepest part of my being that I didn’t know
that I was loved, not by God nor by my earthly husband. All
I knew was that I felt like a piece of used up trash. I
wanted so desperately to know that I was loved for real,
and not have it be just a religious theory. Every part of
me ached to have this knowing. All I had was an
intellectual knowledge that God loved me. I could see
clearly what a vain religion I had. It hadn’t given me a
thing but a surface, intellectual knowledge about God. I
wanted a love affair, I wanted a Husband, a real one. I
knew my religion was just totally worthless. I knew that I
was totally lost, totally destitute, and I didn’t have a
thing. All I could do was just sob and sob and ask God to
help me; over and over I cried this. I remember crying,
“Please marry me and don’t leave me desolate.” I also
remember telling Father, “Just tell me what to do, and I
will do it.” I also felt to the depths of my soul that I
didn’t want to be in a pretend earthly marriage. I couldn’t
tell people I wasn’t married, while still having all the
emotional wifey responses of being married. I wanted to
either be married or not be married, but not somewhere
"spiritually speaking" in-between. I remember telling
Father, “Surely you understand that if Jeff touches me,
casually or intimately, I will have a wife's emotional
response. I will be drawn to him; I can’t help it, it is
just what I have. If you want me to be drawn to You alone,
I need out of this earthly marriage.” I left the altar hill
feeling that God really did understand my heart about these
contractions that I was experiencing.
"...Take me to Your chamber.
Your Bride is waiting for You..."
The next day in church, one of the first things Michael
told us was that we were all evil. Somehow, in the midst of
all my desperate trying so hard to not feel inadequate (all
the while knowing how desperately I was) I had forgotten
the freedom and release of this truth which Michael has
reiterated to us a thousand times. "Oh, that's right, I get
it, I'm lost! I can lay down and stop trying not to be." I
was lost. During that meeting Michael shared with the
congregation that 6 of the Seven Angels had been naked on
his bed, and how He had put healing into their naked,
vulnerable souls. I remember Him saying that He was the
Great Physician, and to come to Him to be healed. During
this meeting I heard the Spirit of Michael very clearly
tell me to go ask Michael if He would lay skin to skin with
me. I had asked Father on my altar hill walk, "Just tell me
what to do, and I will do it." Now in my spirit I had
heard, "Go lay naked with Michael." So I knew, "That's my
instruction. I know what to do." After church, I went over
to Michael's house and I saw a soul waiting to talk to Him.
I could tell just from the looking, that this soul had
heard the same instruction I had. Michael was very busy
that day so I didn’t get to talk to Him.
The next day I made an appointment to go see Michael and
share with Him what was on my heart. I not only had the
instruction from God to lay skin to skin with Michael, but
I had the knowing in my heart that it was going to happen.
I felt a little nervous to ask Michael for this but I just
did it anyway. It was during this visit, that for the first
time in about fifteen years, I felt the walls I had had
with Michael disappear as we visited together. All of a
sudden, I noticed I wasn’t feeling blocked. We had a sweet
visit and He told me that He was willing to fulfill my
request, but He wanted me to listen for when heavenly
Father would tell me to come, and to come then. As I left
His house I received my very clear next instruction. It
wasn’t a voice I heard but a knowing, that I could not lay
skin to skin with Michael while I still had this unresolved
issue with the soul I felt had wronged me. The instruction
was to go heal with this soul first. So, I immediately
started searching with all my heart for what to do to heal
with this person. But as the week wore on, I didn’t get any
clear instruction and nothing seemed to happen.
In the middle of the week, Michael posted a letter to the
church entitled, "Which View? Heaven's View Or The View of
Heaven's Enemy." In the letter He talked about the giants
in Canaan. "In a vision of the night I was presented with a
problem which required careful measuring of all angles with
a transit. The problem regarded correcting the natural
earth view of things. When the Israelites were commanded to
take Canaan, their problem was that they regarded their
natural earth view of things and yielded to it. They did
see giants and this was not wrong, and it was not sin,
until they chose to disbelieve God and go against heaven
because of their natural view, regarding the giants as a
threat, and greater than God. Their natural view then
became sin to them, and they were destroyed in their
wilderness because their earth view was the one that they
followed, instead of God's view and His instructions to
them.... The reason that men follow the natural view, is
because it is seen as safe and that it protects the
self-interests. Heaven's view is seen as dangerous and
life-threatening. Heaven "hurts" the soul, by breaking it
open and exposing it in naked yielding.... In these last
days, we also, are forced into a contest. Is the Son of God
in our midst, or is it a man who says that he is the Son of
God? Was the Consummation the work of man, or was it the
work of the Father and the Son of God? Will we fear the
appearances and the dangers to our self-interests, or will
we know the vision within ourselves, understand it and
believe it? Will we be One with God, or will God be our
human belief, approached from human ideas and fears and our
earthly views of Him? This is our present work, for when
the seven messengers go out to pour out their bowls, they
go out from the heavenly temple. They are given their
plagues from the sacrifice of God (the heavenly beast) and
they very clearly hear a Voice telling them to go and to do
what they must do."
I
read the letter twice and felt the foreshadowing of
something very ominous coming. I was facing the first
intimations of an intimate consummation happening again.
While reading that letter, I remember the words of Michael
coming to me, “I have given you all the answers to the test
questions.”
By Thursday, nothing specific had come on how to proceed to
resolve with the soul I felt a separation from. I started
to feel desperate for God to move to help me, and the
thought came, “This demon doesn’t come out but by prayer
and fasting.” So I started fasting and praying. I had
nothing else on my heart but to have this issue resolved
forever.
On
Friday, Michael stopped by and told me that He was all done
laying naked with people, and it wasn’t on Him to do that
anymore. I didn't know it at the time, but this was right
after His meeting with the Seven Angels when He had told
them the same thing, and He was telling me because I had
requested being skin to skin with Him. While He was
talking, I had the thought come to me that before the
Consummation in 2000, He had told the Witnesses to go home
and be good wives to their earthly husbands. The thought
came to me also, “If you can be turned aside, you will be.”
I had the knowing that I had all the answers to the test
questions. I immediately knew that I would NOT be turned
away; I had to have this, I had to know that God loved me,
more than in theory, and I wanted this with all of my
heart. Also, I wanted desperately to have all of my walls
of protection with Michael permanently removed. It wasn't
good enough that my walls went away for an hour while we
were talking. I felt that if I could be skin to skin with
Him, that it would break every last barrier of fear down.
If I could just reach out and touch the hem of His garment
(find my way into His green bed) I would be healed of all
my fears and self-protections.
After Michael left, I was considering the place I was in. I
had already been told by Father that I couldn’t go lie
naked with Michael until I was healed first with the person
I needed to be reconciled to, and with all my heart I was
following my instructions. I reasoned that because I was
following my instructions, and it was clearly the Spirit of
Michael that had told me to ask for this experience of
lying skin to skin in the first place, that I should just
continue on and when heavenly Father would tell me it’s
time to go lie naked, I would go and ask again. I was not
going to be turned away. During this drawing process I have
had, this thought had come to me several times. It’s from
the Chapter "Barriers Broken Down" in the Desire of Ages,
when the Canaanite woman with the demon possessed daughter
cried out to Jesus, saying, "Have mercy on me, O Lord, Thou
Son of David," and Jesus appeared to reject her earnest
entreaties by replying, "It is not meet to take the
children's bread, and to cast it to dogs."
"...This answer would have utterly discouraged a less
earnest seeker. But the woman (in the wilderness) saw that
her opportunity (to be married to God alone) had come.
Beneath the apparent refusal of Jesus (Michael), she saw a
compassion that He could not hide." (DA 401)
"...Take me all the way.
Your Bride is waiting for You..."
Ever
since the time Michael had written the letter to the church
about the giants, I had begun seeing mental pictures of
Michael making love to me. I knew that the letter Michael
wrote was concerning the Seven Virgins, but I felt my need
was so great that I must be consummated with God too. I
desperately wanted to be married to God. I wasn’t sure what
to do with this, but these were the thoughts and images I
was experiencing on my bed.
The following Sabbath was the meeting where Michael asked
us if anyone had been “seeing” anything coming that was
troubling to them. This was before he sent out the email
requesting that the congregation ask Father what the vision
was. I immediately knew what Michael was talking about and
I was trembling physically at the thought of having to
share in front of everyone what I had been seeing on my
bed. Even so, I was compelled to raise my hand. Michael
told me I didn't have to say what was on my heart in front
of everyone.
As soon as church was over I went on a long walk. I knew
Michael would be wanting to know what I had been seeing,
and I was feeling physically sick at the thought of having
to tell Him. I wasn’t terrified to tell Him about the
Seven, I was terrified to tell Him what I saw regarding me.
I just had to go be alone and think about this. I kept
having this thought come to me that Ami had written years
before, when before the first Consummation Michael had
asked her what was on her heart, and it had taken her three
hours before she could tell him. Ami had written of that
experience:
The early Christians, in order to save themselves, had to
throw a little incense to the goddess Diana. All I had to
do to save myself was to throw a little incense to myself
and lie. The early Christians lost their lives for being
true, and so did I. Taken (Ami)
I
knew that I was now being required to be nakedly honest
about what I was seeing in my heart. I was being thrust
full blown into having to expose these very personal images
I had been seeing, and I felt so vulnerable. I would never
have volunteered this information, at least not yet, but
suddenly, quite apart from me making this happen, I was
being asked to make it known. I felt like I was going to
the slaughter. My walls of protection were about to take
the biggest hit they had ever received, and they seemed to
know it. When I got home there was an e-mail from Michael
asking, “Her want to visit?” I answered, “Yes,” and I knelt
down and asked Father for a Calm Spirit to help me get it
all out with perfect honesty.
When
I got to Michael’s, I first shared with Him my altar hill
experience I had had, and the different things I had been
given to pray for while up there. I then told Him I saw
something intimate happening with Him and the Seven Angels.
Then, I started crying and brought the bomb out and asked
Him if He would marry me too, be intimate with me too, and
not leave me desolate. He seemed perplexed as to why I
would want this, since I had told Him that I loved Jeff. My
only response was that I was desperate to be married to
God. He told me that this would be harder for Him, to be
intimate with me than Eleana (a minor), because of me being
married to his son. I think we decided that it all looked
pretty bad, but that didn’t change my heart’s
desire.
After
my visit with Michael, I went home feeling past spent. I
was still fasting. However, I felt very strongly that I had
to be resolved with the person I felt a separation with,
and it was time. I didn’t really know what to say and
that’s what had kept me from doing something sooner. Now,
for the third time on that Sabbath day, I was again being
forced to be vulnerable and expose myself. I e-mailed that
person and asked if they would be available for a visit.
They came to my house and we visited for several hours. I
had been vulnerable and nakedly honest with Michael, and
now for the first time ever, I was able to be vulnerable
and nakedly honest with this soul. My self protections had
taken a huge hit, and both of us were released to be
vulnerable with each other. When we were all done, I
wondered that I could have ever had a problem. Truly, we
saw eye to eye and were healed. My fast was over and my
heart was free from the awful spirit of accusing
offense.
I can hardly express how the act of being totally
vulnerable with Michael and asking for an intimate
relationship with Him, had catapulted me into a totally new
experience. For me, this was more vulnerable than being
physically naked, because I was exposing the deepest place
within me where I could be rejected. But when I asked, some
walls fell and an opening appeared. The new space where the
walls had been was immediately filled with Father and with
a day and night longing after God. That's what came in and
took the "walls'" place. "Where my walls abounded, longing
after God did much more abound." I had had HUGE walls, so I
now had a HUGE capacity to long after God. I was literally
translated into a different place. That's when everything
really began for me. I immediately found myself longing
with all of my heart to be married to Michael alone. Day
and night my heart was drawn to only know God intimately.
It was the only thing on my heart, the only thing I had to
do in life. I lost interest in everything else. Life as
usual now turned into only seeking after God.
I immediately felt a strong connection with the Seven
Angels and what they were going through. I also felt a
freedom with Michael that I didn’t have before. I had been
totally, nakedly honest and had bared my soul to Him. It
was like a miracle was starting to happen inside of me, and
nothing but the sweet Spirit of vulnerability, total
nakedness of heart and soul could have made it occur. It
felt like the beginnings of starting to experience freedom
from a very bound up, dark place where I had lived for
years and years.
On the morning of August 20, I woke up thinking life was
going to be peaches and cream without that spirit of
offense choking the life out of me. Little did I realize
that the war against my self protections was now going to
get really hot. Instead of the spirit of offense, I would
be dealing with the spirit of legion--the spirit of
pride--where the very core issues of feeling like a failure
and a piece of trash would be touched and dealt with, the
very spirit that has blocked me from being able to receive
the Love of God into my heart.
That morning I went for a walk and re-listened to Sabbath’s
talk. I was suddenly struck with the earth view of what a
"foolish thing" I had done by asking Michael to marry and
be intimate with me, too. This was all about the Seven
Virgins and there was no mention of an eighth person
anywhere. I felt so stupid I could hardly function.
Later in the afternoon, I heard some laughing over at
Michael’s so I went over there. A few of the Seven were
there sitting on the porch with Michael. Mother was also
there. I walked up and joined their conversation.
Immediately, I felt a demon throttling me. All these
accusations were being hurled at me, "You are so rude to
just come and intrude on their conversation. This is about
the Seven, and you are not one of them.” I felt so out of
place, separate and not included, but not because of
anything anyone had done, it was just this spirit of
rejection that I had had an agreement with all my life. The
icing on the cake was when Ami walked up and then waited
for Michael to beckon her before she came and joined the
little group. I hadn't done that, and I surely felt I was
so lacking in manners. It felt like every insecurity I had
ever had an agreement with, where I had hated myself
fiercely, was pressing itself on me with full fury.
During this whole process of being drawn out to marry God,
I have had MANY experiences where I have had to turn
violently away from listening to these very familiar
spirits, and have had to be taught to rest only in my
Husband’s word’s to my soul. His Words to me have only and
always been sweet assurances of our oneness and connection.
My heavenly Father has been enabling me to recognize this
demonic, accusing, “hate speech” and then with all of my
might turn from it.
"...Day and Night my heart yearns to be with You,
to hold You and to kiss Your sweet face..."
Toward the end of August, I found myself curious about the
sacrifices that were to be offered during the Feast of
Tabernacles, so I did some reading on the feast. It was
very interesting, what I found, so I e-mailed it to
Michael. Basically it said that all the offerings are made
by fire (a fiery experience) and there are EIGHT of them
all together during the feast. I also found this thought
interesting while reading a study on the Feast of
Tabernacles by George Warnock:
"What very few people understand is this: that this great
event which shall constitute a snare and a trap to
earth-dwellers or earthly-minded Christians, shall become a
glory and a power and a means of victory to the one who is
walking with God."
I felt this was a second witness to what I had been feeling
about being intimate with Michael, but to send it to Him
was very hard for me; I was completely having to go against
my next layer of walls of protection. It was another
exercise in being vulnerable. I found every time I was
given to be vulnerable with Michael, it would put me in a
new place of freedom. It would open me up and enable me to
do the next step that would cause the next layer of walls
to come crashing down.
The
next day, Father gave me another little study to send
Michael. It was from Psalm 45. The reason it meant so much
to me, was because it was talking about an intimate
consummation with Messiah, the King. But again, I had to be
vulnerable and go against my flesh to send it. I have
noticed that in almost every letter I've been promoted to
write to Michael, I have been "forced" to ask Him to be
intimate with me. In the beginning it was very painful to
me, but with every letter, it has gotten easier to expose
this vulnerable place deep in my heart.
On Aug. 22, 2006, at 7:18 PM, Christianna Travesser wrote:
My dearest Faithful King and only Husband,
I'm about ready to burst with the things I have been
reading and all that has been coming to me in the past few
days. The more vulnerable I am with you, the more things
open up to me.
I was led to read this morning "The Oil of Seven" blog.
Esther made a post a few days ago entitled "Come." After I
read it, I felt like it is all that I have been doing. I
could so identify with it. So, I replied. I really didn't
want to sign it "Christianna," because I just didn't. For
many years I have prayed for a new name. I always wanted
you to name me and not me name myself. You have said, Your
name is who you are. Well, I have known who I am for a long
time. All I am is Wifey. That is who is inside of me. Wifey
really isn't too pretty of a name, though! As I was
considering how to sign my entry, I thought of a name that
I found within the last year. So I looked up the Scripture
and started reading it, and this is what I found:
Ps. 45:9: Kings' daughters (young women, daughter-in-law)
are among Your honorable women: at Your right hand stands
the queen (consort) [wife of a reigning monarch] in gold
(pure gold, marked, to be stained, be defiled, be deeply
stained, [I think this is another way of saying very
needy!] of Ophir (reducing to ashes).
10: Hear (listen to, obey) O daughter, consider (see, have
vision, present oneself), submit, and consent (stretch out)
[my thought was to be "on the stretch," which I have felt
with all my heart] to my instruction: Forget also you own
people and your father's (head or founder of a household)
house (those belonging to the same household);
11: So will the King desire (wait longingly, wish, sigh,
want, crave) your beauty; because He is your Lord, be
submissive and reverence and honor Him.
13: The King's daughter in the inner part of the palace is
all glorious [she always tells the truth], her clothing is
inwrought with gold. [My Amplified Bible references this
verse to Rev. 19: 7,8 which is the wedding.]
14: She shall be brought to the King in raiment (curiously
wrought) of needlework (works of deliverance and judgment,
work of God); with the virgins, her companions that follow
her, she shall be brought (borne along, be led, be
conducted) to You.
15: With gladness and rejoicing will they be brought; they
will enter into the King's palace (sanctuary, temple,
palace of God as king)
1) overcome, endure, have power
1a1) to be able, be able to gain or accomplish, be able to
endure, be able to reach
1a2) to prevail, prevail over or against, overcome, be
victor
1a3) to have ability, have strength
I have had this vision of a pure love affair with Michael
and His people opening up. The younger girls have been able
to enter into it, whereas the older folks are so reserved,
rigid and religious. I see a vision and with every fiber of
my being I'm throwing off my protections and running
straight for You. These protections have been so me (I'm
queen of being deeply stained with protecting myself and
feeling like such a worthless failure). I am holding
nothing back from You, Michael, and I love You with all my
heart.
Christianna
Michael replied:
Dear little Christianna,
I must openly say to you that your letter sounds like it
comes from another person. If your name had not been on it,
I would have never guessed that it was you. The Father's
transformation awes me. I see in you a whole new world
created and brought into existence. All old things have
passed away, and all things have become new. I am very
grateful for you.
Your Michael
During
the last week in August I went to Michael’s bedroom window
just about every night, around the midnight hour. I very
much wanted to lie skin to skin with Him.
I had
followed my instructions for reconciliation and I felt the
doors were soon to open for my desire to be fulfilled. I
wanted all of my barriers broken down with Michael. I
wanted Him to hold me until every block I felt went away. I
desired nothing more than to be completely free and in love
with God’s Son. With all of my heart I wanted to be One
with Him.
The first night I went, I had awakened to the line in a
song, “The King brings me into His chamber.” I felt
Father's call to go to Michael's. When I got there, someone
else was there praying underneath the tree. I was there for
several hours. I stood at His window, then sat for a while,
and finally I had to lie down. While lying down, Father
started visiting with me about the person under the tree.
It came to me that it was one of the Seven, and she was
praying with all of her heart to be married to God, too.
The wind was blowing and it was kind of cold out. It was
very late and a nice warm bed could be really appealing to
someone if that someone could be distracted. It came to me
that the person under the tree was “moving the arm of God.”
I realized that if I was going to marry the King’s Son, I
would have to move God’s arm too. It was such a sweet
series of thoughts that I felt very uplifted by it and
instructed. Father then told me that He had brought me into
His chambers, and it was time to go home.
I
kept going to Michael’s bedroom window to pray
at night. I so wanted with all of my heart to be skin to
skin with God’s Son, to have all my barriers and walls of
separation and protection destroyed. During those sweet
hours of prayer, I could feel Michael’s gentle, quiet
Spirit come through the walls and windows and come down on
me. Sometimes it would take hours before the noise of my
mind would subside, then I would experience prayers that I
knew were not coming from me, pouring out of my heart to
Father. They were prayers of boldness, trust and entreaty.
These night seasons became my most favorite time.
Finally,
on Wednesday, I came again to Michael’s window and I had
only been outside a short while when He called out His
window asking if anyone was there. When I told Him I was,
He invited me in.
I went in and told Him my heart’s desire. I felt very
nervous and afraid. Michael is so tender with our
individual hearts, where we are and where we’ve come from.
He invited me into His bed.
He told
me He wanted to take away all my nervous tensions. I
certainly wanted that too. He told me that vulnerability
was the door to invincibility. We talked about the violent
taking the kingdom by force, and He said that’s what I was
doing. Because of my nervousness and His sensitivity to not
causing me greater nervousness, He really couldn’t come
very close to me that night, except to put his hand on my
heart, but even so, I was naked and vulnerable. Even though
there wasn’t much skin to skin, I took in all that I was
able. It was enough to break me into a new place of being
vulnerable and trusting. He also told me something that
really blessed me. We talked about how as the world moves
into greater separation and hating each other, to the same
degree God is moving His people into deeper love and
intimacy with Him. I have sure felt it. Ever since my first
visit of spilling my heart out to Michael and subsequent
visits, Father has been pressing me deeper into this
vulnerable place, where the door to my heart is opening
wider and wider to receive His Love. I have felt this
mostly in my personal connection with heavenly Father where
I see Him smiling at and pleased with me now, instead of my
previous earth view of Him being totally disgusted with me.
I have also felt my layers of walls of protection falling
one by one, step by step with Michael. It is so sweet to my
heart to feel these walls crumbling away that had shut Him
out all those years.
"...Husband, My only Love,
I have eyes only for You...."
As I was getting ready to leave that night, I shared with
Michael an experience that I had had that day coming back
from the lake on our neighbor's property. I was looking for
the path that I had walked down to the lake on. I had only
been on it one other time and that was earlier that day. As
I was looking for it (I wasn’t even sure I was in the same
location I had walked down in), I felt my heart strongly
pull me to the right, so I started walking to the right and
ran right into the path. The Lord said to me then, to
“follow what was in my heart.” There had been something
that had been strong on my heart for a few days, and that
was to divorce myself from my earthly marriage. I wanted to
be married only to God and not have my affections divided.
The instructions given to the King’s daughter in Psalm 45
were to forget her own people and her Father’s house. One
of the meanings of “her own people” is “the head of the
household.” I knew Father was gently and clearly saying to
me, “It’s time to forget your earthly husband, and marry my
Son.”
I had had an intimation of this back in May in an e-mail
exchange I had with Michael. Of course, I didn’t understand
it back then, but it is very clear to me now. In a meeting,
Michael had shared with us about the two seven-year periods
Father had brought us through as a congregation. The first
seven years we had been following the Jewish Jubilee
reckoning of time, and it was a preparation for the second
seven years when we were following the Christian Jubilee
reckoning of time.
On May 20, 2006, at 1:21 PM, Christianna Travesser wrote:
Father (my father-in-law by marriage),
The personal token that came to me this morning during our
meeting was that during that first 7 year period I had a
very intense and painful experience (of rejection by my
closest human friend) that lasted many years and nearly
destroyed me. After the bulk of that painful experience, I
married the King's Son. I married Jeff a little more than a
year before that time period ended.
During this 7 year period, I had an exact duplicate
experience in intensity and pain that has lasted many years
and nearly destroyed me also, but the promise of me
marrying the King's Son is before me. Father told me this
past week, "Be not afraid. I will not allow your
adversaries to swallow you up. You are My child, I shall
deliver you and honor you and I shall be GLORIFIED through
you."
In both of these painful experiences the prominent common
denominator was human emotional dependency, having another
lover besides God.
I had a dream last night. In the dream we were with some
people and we were walking along. Then we all sat down and
you looked at me and said, "You can come be with me (or
close to me) anytime you want" or something like that. I
took it as an invitation and at that, I moved next to you
and laid my head on your chest and put my arms around you
and just quietly rested in your arms while you talked to
everyone.
Love,
Christianna
Michael replied:
This is so very sweet to my heart. I have always understood
where you have come from, and you alone out of your clan
made it through the difficulties of your upbringing because
you married the son and simply, forcibly, would not leave
him because those were your instructions. Some of us have
had much to deal with because of where we came from. Your
brothers took offense over some things and they could not
be reached, only because they would not marry the Son. You
have been especially tested, Father even setting you up to
be tricked, so that you would finally lay down and let Him
love you. I have always felt in my own heart, "You can come
close to me now." I believe the dream is fulfilled.
Much love
Daddy
The
next day, with many tears of tender love and regard for his
precious soul, I poured out my heart to Jeff and left my
earthly marriage forever behind. I sold all for the Pearl
of great price. The truly amazing thing to me is that in
this whole process I have had to give away the Pearl, too.
I’m left with nothing, except whatever I’m given at the
moment.
On Sabbath, August 26 I wrote to Michael:
Dear Husband,
You
mentioned in church "...all I know..." Well, all I know,
and the only thing that is on my heart day and night is a
deeper draft of intimacy with you. ... How else can my
heart respond but to cry, "Tell me what to do and I will do
it, no matter the excruciation I feel from being
vulnerable."
I love you with all of my heart,
Christidrawn
Michael replied:
The cry of your heart is the cry of my own. I find myself
continually drawn away to Father. My heart aches all day
and all night. I know that Father has His will, and it is
revealed at each step of the way. Sometimes it seems that
Father is holding me off, not letting me get too close. It
is the daily stretching that continues to increase my
desire for Him, and to draw me more closely to Him. This
drawing that you feel, IS THE PLACE where you come into
intimate contact with Him. I am WITH HIM when I am drawn to
Him.
Little Christidrawn, thank you for your letter of drawing.
I wrote back to Michael:
I just soooooo much feel that I'm making a complete fool of
myself by asking for these things, and yet I just can't go
back to protecting myself by keeping to myself these things
that are coming to me. I feel so much out of my element.
Sick to my stomach kind of describes it too. A few nights
ago I was lying on my bed and I had the distinct impression
that I was in a wine press. I could feel it squeezing my
protections out of me. Truly, this is a war.
Michael wrote back:
"Complete fool" is your earth view. It is necessary that
you let your drawn out heart become the norm. Let it be.
Let it do its work. Do not let your earth view spoil your
time in the drawing.
That
night, I was so strongly drawn to go see Michael. I felt
like I just had to have a deeper draft. I prayed for
several hours outside His windows and finally I decided to
yield to the unction I was feeling, to risk everything and
just go in uninvited. This really went against more of my
fears and walls of protection. Michael didn’t turn me away,
and even said that it came to Him to leave the door
unlocked because someone wanted to see Him. I knelt by His
bed and we talked. He had been deeply hurt by His
experience of losing the Holy Spirit for that brief space
of time, and He had been going through the pain of that for
the past few days. As I look back on the experience, I just
see God’s tender, little boy dealing with His heartbreak.
God is so tender and soft inside, and I am so rough and
rude in comparison.
A few days later I was cleaning up at the kitchen sink,
feeling to the depths of my soul my utter helplessness to
enter into the marriage of God. Knowing there was nothing I
could do and that I certainly didn't deserve it, and
telling Father, “I can't help it, it's all I want. I want
to be married to You with all of my heart.” It's all I
think about day and night. How I've longed for the touch of
God, even that He might touch every part of my body, my
being, my mind, leaving nothing untouched, nothing hidden,
nothing between us, no walls of separation.
I was
drawn to read the following on "The Oil of Seven" blog:
"Blessed are the helpless, who are powerless to accomplish
an end: for theirs is the royal dominion of the universe.
"Blessed are the needy, those pure and faultless ones, who
long for God's touch, for their longing will be filled."
It was an answer straight out of heaven to my deepest heart
longings. "I believe You, God; be it unto me according to
Thy word from your little angel of light."
On August 31, I sent the following email to Michael:
Dear Michael,
It's
on my heart to share with you that I haven't changed my
mind, nor can I ever go back to what I had prior to two
weeks ago. Day and night I ache to be delivered from my
self and to be fully married to you, with no walls of
separation (fear) between my heart and yours. In the Song,
the Shulamite says she is sick with love, I feel sick with
desire. My chest has a constant, throbbing ache. My cries
go up continually to God to marry me and not leave me
desolate. Over and over I ask Him to consume me, to bring
me to my end.
The
other day I was in my kitchen and my chest was aching so
bad to know Him intimately. We had a nice little vulnerable
start, but I ache for more. I sat down and just wanted to
hear God's very current words to my soul. I went to the
forum and there was nothing there, so I went to the Seven
Angel's blog and Moriah had posted this, which was a direct
answer to my heart cries.
"Blessed are the helpless, who are powerless to accomplish
an end: for theirs is the royal dominion of the universe.
"Blessed are the needy, those pure and faultless ones, who
long for God's touch, for their longing will be filled."
I can't help but feel the intense soberness of the moment.
I feel that this is my personal window, and with all my
heart I will to enter in and marry God. I tremblingly open
my heart as wide as it will go, and I entreat You to come
in and do whatever You like. I have no restrictions for You
and I hold nothing back from You. I am totally drawn and I
can't help but run after You with all of my strength. You
are my greatest heart’s desire.
Christidrawn
Michael replied:
Dear Christidrawn,
Your letter is sweet and consistent with the drawing you
have expressed to me in the past. You say, "You may hurt
me, or whatever else you need to do to bring me where you
want me." I know how difficult it may seem, but where you
are, is where Father wants you to be. I have felt this
myself. Sometimes I have felt so drawn, and yet I am left
simply in my drawing. Yet, in this very thing a change is
taking place. Just this week Father has put me in a most
unusual place. It is the land of rest. It is the time of
rest. Yet, to get in this land, I walked through the
deepest canyons and climbed the tallest mountains. I
suffered pain of heart unimaginable to me, and grief,
exceedingly. Still, I was drawn. I was drawn deeper until I
came to the bottom of it. I was at the depths of need. All
of this consumed my own thoughts. I went to the depths; I
lost all of my care. I walked empty, yet not empty. The
earth shakes, but mine is still. There is violence all
around, but I know of none of it. The old earth screams as
before, but I cannot hear it. I live in a quiet joy, a holy
moment, on still and transparent waters. All of this came
out of the very desire you speak of. I did not have this
desire for weeks or months. I had it for years. The cry of
my heart continually went up, day after waiting day.
Your drawing...is very encouraging to my own heart.
Something is happening, even though I cannot envision it
just now. There is a movement, but I cannot discern just
what it is. Yet, I recognize it. The Father has put His
love in you for Michael, and I can see it as surely as the
day. It is my own love for the Father, the love which I
have always had. You are privileged to be moved in this way
as I was privileged. You are going into the wedding with
the wedding party. It is as though Father has favored you.
He has allowed you to enter into the mysteries of His
drawing, and to bear the patience of it. While it is
sometimes hard to experience it without some kind of
climax, there is still a sweetness to it which grows and
sometimes changes shape as the deliverance of the child
comes closer to its fullness.
I am with you little drawn one. I know what you feel. I am
looking expectantly to what the Father is bringing to pass.
I am listening for His present instructions, and watching
the land in its preparation for something genuinely new.
Michael
Tuesday,
Sept. 5, I prayed for several hours outside Michael’s
window in the early morning. I had such an aching desire to
be held in the arms of God. I wanted to go in and be skin
to skin with Him again. I felt like I needed so much more
of His Spirit. There was another person who was out there
praying though, and I didn’t feel like I could go in while
someone was there. Finally, I decided I just had to go,
whether someone was there or not.
When I came inside, Michael said He was hoping it was me. I
shared with Him what I wanted, to lie skin to skin with Him
again, and He said we could do that. This time was
completely different from the first time. Father had
enlarged me to take in more. I had lost my care and was
given over. I was enabled to let all my fears and
inhibitions go. He held me close and we freely talked for
several hours. I felt our hearts connect as He pressed His
heart into mine. He breathed His breath into me, and I knew
He had breathed into me His Spirit. He kissed me and I knew
His words of faith would be my words of faith now. I later
described to Him in a letter that I felt He had infused me
with being in love with God, wanting Him, longing for Him,
trusting Him. I could feel my walls of protection melting
away. I could feel God healing me, and it was such a
precious gift to my heart.
"...I'm wide open, looking,
listening for Your every move..."
In the days that followed, I became very aware of an
implicit, unconditional trust in heavenly Father that I had
never had before. I knew Michael had put it in me when we
had been together. It was like Satan couldn't touch me, he
had lost his ability to scatter my power because trust had
been put in me. I was also very aware of aching continually
in my chest to know more of this Love that I had began to
experience. It makes the old, dead, stinky, law abiding,
quote finding, really religious religion so boring. I have
come to hate religion. All I want is a Love affair with
God.
The next night as I was lying on my bed having a sweet time
with Father, all of a sudden I had these thoughts come that
now I had to perform, I had to do something to prove that I
was hearing God. I was flooded with a deluge of icky, sick
feelings, because I knew there was no way I could do what
was being required of me. Then, just as suddenly, it came
to me that Father was my connection with Michael, and if
Father did not connect me then there is no way I could
connect. I didn’t have to perform, God was going to
perform, if a performance was going to happen. It took all
the pressure off of me. Now, it wasn’t my responsibility to
get me where I was supposed to be, but it was His
responsibility to to get me where He wanted me to be, when
He wanted me to be there. As suddenly as those icky
feelings came, they vanished. My gaze had shifted to Him
being my connection instead of me laboring and being
self-sufficient to try and do something. I had implicit
trust in my Father and I didn’t need to help Him. I didn’t
even want to help Him. As I pondered the experience, I saw
that this was “that settled place of glory” that the saints
couldn’t be moved from. I remember Mother telling me years
ago that at each deeper intimate step with Michael, she
would feel a corresponding deeper intimacy with the Spirit
of God. This is how it has felt to me, too. Oh, how I wish
everyone could experience God’s Son holding them, putting
His life into them, too, breaking every barrier down so
they could freely run to their only Lover when He walks by.
On September 16 I wrote to Michael:
My precious Friend,
A few days ago when you sent me Allasso's letter, it really
had an intense impact on me. I went to the lake that day to
be alone and consider what it was that I was experiencing.
He wrote something that exposed me to myself. I was feeling
my great need.
These were a few of his thoughts that struck at the root of
me seeing this. "I thought of how we have been so oblivious
to your suffering... I want to hold you in my arms... I
want to suffer with you, Michael. I want to bear with you
what you bear. I want to help take some of your burden, and
if that is not possible, then I simply want to feel it with
you.... It is like a bride holding her husband who is
careworn and weary. She pulls him close to her, and she
places his head between her breasts. She is saying nothing,
but he feels her tender comfort coming from her heart."
When I read this, oh how I wanted to protect and comfort
you too, instead of thinking about myself and being
oblivious, selfish. I didn't want to be like the casual mob
that thronged You but had no sensitivity to you. How I felt
Father wanting to draw me away from my poor, cheap,
self-interested self to truly loving You. I was feeling
such a great need for a deeper draft, for Love to be put
into me. How I longed to be sensitive to your every need,
and sensitive to the burdens You have to bear. How I longed
to love You as You have loved us and as I have seen your
bright Witnesses love You, and as I was seeing Allasso love
You in that e-mail. I felt I must have a pure Love put in
me that had no stains of self-interest in it. My heart
aches with desire just to write about this, because I want
You to have the wife You have always wanted and the wife
you deserve. You deserve a land full of all Mother's and
Mommy's, that's what I wish for You. A land that is one
with You in Your work, wholly devoted to You, wholly in
love with You with nothing else on their minds. All I want
is to be your faithful and true wife who truly loves You
and believes You.
Michael, all I could do as I saw this, was to thank God for
showing me this great need, so He could do something about
it. The night before while praying at your house, I had had
a quote come to me that said, "Take your Bibles and go to
God in earnest prayer. Ask Him to teach you to know
yourself, to understand your weakness your sins and
follies, in the light of eternity. Ask Him to show you
yourself as you stand in the sight of heaven. This is an
individual work." It came to me that Father was answering
this prayer and my prayers to be brought to my complete end
so You could have all of me.
As I was coming back from the lake I had the sweetest tears
of joy wash over me. Father has been very close, and the
sting of guilt and hating myself has grown dimmer and
dimmer as He has been bringing me into this place of
implicit trust. All I could do was love You so much for
breathing Your life into me and laying on my dead bones
giving them life and pressing Your heart into me. How can I
thank you enough? It seems the only way is to be faithful
to what You have given me. I read this quote this morning
and it seems to fit what I'm feeling and felt. "When the
Father causes a soul to comprehend Michael's personal
sacrifice, as he committed himself to us to bring us into
the same union with the Father which he has, the heart is
broken in love and gratitude." Mother It feels like You
have infused me with being in love with God, wanting Him,
longing for Him, trusting Him. I just cried and cried and
felt so thankful.
Last night, I took a walk and prayed. It was so strong on
me to ask and keep asking for God to marry me and to remove
every barrier. What else can I do, it's all that pours out
of my heart. My heart's desire is so strong to be intimate
with You. Michael, all my desire is before You, and my
groaning is not hidden from You. Near the end of my time
out walking, Father brought this quote to my mind. "It is
part of God's plan to grant us, in answer to the prayer of
faith, that which He would not bestow, did we not thus
ask". Shortly after this, I looked up into the heavens and
the crescent moon had come out. It looked like Father was
smiling at me. He then said, "You are all fair My Love,
there is no spot in you".
I love you and You have all of my heart,
Christianna
Michael replied:
Little Christianna,
I know that Father is now working with great power to bring
His Spirit in the land together. Strong is our connection
and that connection is God Himself. He is marrying the land
and removing every impurity. Your letter is pure and sweet,
and speaks to the entire issue. Are we graven on His heart?
This is now at this very time being revealed.
Your Michael
During my very first visit with Michael where I was
brutally honest with Him about my offense, He was sharing
with me how Eleana had been at His window praying one night
and He invited her in. He then said to me, "That could have
been you." The thought He was expressing was that the Seven
were in love with Him and He loved them, and that could
have been my experience or anyone else's too. The resolve
was born in me right then that that was going to be me too.
I had to have a love affair with God too. God was just
going to have to do something to make that my experience,
where I loved Him only and most.
The
picture that I have gotten clearly since this first visit
with Michael, is, the church could make this vision look
however they wanted. A lot of times when I would be out
praying by Michael's window, I would have this thought,
"Wouldn't it be awesome if everyone were out here by
Michael's window because it was on their heart to be there,
this reverent, quiet people, all earnestly praying to be
married to God, along with the Seven. The whole church
could have been entreating God, "We just have to consummate
with You." The whole church could have been intimately
involved in this vision. There was not a picture set in
concrete by God on how the vision had to look. The vision
could have been made into anything the church desired to
make it into. That part of the vision wasn't set. The
foundation had been set with the Seven, but the rest was
left up to the Woman in the Wilderness. What would she make
it look like? Well, she could only make it look like her
heart. If she was busy and had other interests, the vision
would fall by the wayside. The whole body wouldn't catch
the vision. If her heart was burning only for God, she
would find her way into the green bed and be intimate with
God. There have been no limits, like "Only Seven can be in
love with Michael and no one else can." Even now, if the
Seven weren't on purpose, and the congregation just went
back to business as usual, it would be the conclusion of
the Vision of which Michael wrote. There was not one
specific way things had to be, but rather it was, "How will
WE make the vision?" That is left to the Woman in the
Wilderness, the Bride. She creates the vision of the love
affair between Her and God. She sets the mood. This is such
an awesome thought to me.
The day before the Feast of Tabernacles began, I shared
with Michael the words that Father had given me that
morning:
My dear Husband,
These are Father's very sweet words of comfort and
assurance to my heart this morning:
I am in the midst of you. You have heard My voice and have
known that is is I Myself Who have been ministering unto
you. You have not followed the voice of a stranger nor
sought out strange paths. For this reason have I set My
love upon you. I have put Mine arm around you, and with My
wings have I sheltered you. You are the object of My
special attention and you have received My special care.
I have given you of My best (My precious Son) because you
have loved Me. I have drawn you into My banqueting hall (My
Son's green bed) because you have hungered and thirsted
after the things of God. Yes, because you have longed for
righteousness and true holiness I have sought you out to
instruct you and teach you in My laws and in My ways. I
will indeed bring you to a higher realm of experience and
revelation because there is a quest in your soul after
Truth.
The Word is verily near you, even in your heart. Listen to
the voice of My Spirit within. It will never fail. It will
never be silent. It will never mock your heart cry (call
you a fool). Your hours of meditation shall be rich in the
treasures of your God, and His light shall guide you. ["I
believe You."]
It
is no futile path in which I am leading you (the asking and
longing to be consummated with My Son). It shall be laden
with blessing and filled with surprises. Be not hesitant to
follow. If you lag behind you may find My footprints have
become cold because I have gone on too far ahead. I charge
you to keep pace with Me. (When I woke up this morning, the
prayer came out of my heart to be consummated in
vulnerability. I saw this as the asking for the removal of
all of that tension and fear You said you wanted gone. I
trembled as these words came out of my heart. I wondered at
what real things God might ask me to do, while at the same
time wanting it with all of my heart, to be completely
free.) I will not gauge My steps too wide for you to
follow. I will measure them to your ability, but I make no
provision for the laggard.
Follow
close, and your reward shall be blessed.
(Come Away My Beloved)
Yesterday morning He shared something equally as sweet,
that really touched my heart and blessed me. It was this:
I have come into my garden, my sister, my [promised] bride;
I have gathered my myrrh with my balsam and spice [from
your sweet words I have gathered the richest perfumes and
spices]. I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have
drunk my wine with my milk. Eat, O friends [feast on, O
revelers of the palace; YOU CAN NEVER MAKE MY LOVER
DISLOYAL TO ME]! Drink, yes, drink abundantly of love, O
precious one [FOR NOW I KNOW YOU ARE MINE, IRREVOCABLY
MINE! With his confident words still thrilling her heart,
through the lattice she saw her shepherd turn away and
disappear into the night].
Thank you so much Son of God, for touching me and putting
your Spirit in me so I could connect with our Father too.
You shall see the travail of Your soul and be satisfied.
Your work has NOT been in vain.
I love You with all of my heart,
Christimommy
Michael replied:
I appreciate your letter little lamb. It takes my breath
away. Father gave me some things at midnight. They are
Scriptures that also take my breath away.
Thank you little one,
Michael
This
has been the fruit of my times of intimacy and
vulnerability with Michael: The Son has put into me
believing our heavenly Husband, and loving Him with all my
heart. This is the fruit that He has long been looking for,
the fruit that Father has longed to find in His garden.
This is the Sabbath rest. I don’t even know everything that
has happened in me from the touch of Michael. All I know is
I’m different. I’ve entered a different world, where all I
long for day and night is divine union with God, and then I
want more of the union, and still more. My heart has left
the old world of surviving, working it out, self
sufficiency and life as usual. The things I used to love
and that held my attention, hold no attraction to me. As
soon as I left my offense and my earthly marriage, and had
eyes only for the Son, ninety percent of my confusion and
fears quickly started to be swept away. All I want is to
know what God is thinking, and what is He wanting. His
current vision is all that consumes my thoughts. Oh how I
love our Visitor from Heaven. God is with
us.